Cell Block Tango
by Ponyboy '92
Summary: Regardless of music, it was said: "Can you tango?" Tyki/Lenalee


**Cell Block Tango**

Tyki/Lenalee is my OTP.

Seriously, they have _such_ a connection. Like, Tyki touches Allen inappropriately and Lenalee looks like she wants to touch Allen inappropriately, so they're got so much in common!

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

* * *

"Why am I the one going on this mission?" Lenalee whined as Miranda fixed the makeup on her face carefully. "I'm not the only girl in this place, you know!"

A tear slipped down Komui's cheek, and he turned his head away from his sister's distressed face in shame. "No," he answered. "You aren't the only girl. _But_, you're the only one who can truly complete this mission!"

"Why can't Miranda?"

"Can Miranda _dance_?"

Miranda herself let out a self-desecrating sigh and bit her bottom lip as she shook her head. "I'll admit it," she muttered. "I'm dreadful at the entire dancing scene. You, on the other hand, can, uh, how do these young people say it… really shake and move."

Lavi frowned. "Uh, Miranda, I've never said that in my life… In fact, I don't think any 'young person' has ever said that."

Allen coughed, looking away with a light blush.

Lenalee huffed. "I'm being serious here!" she grumbled. "Komui, you're sending me after _Tyki Mikk_. _TYKI MIKK._ You should know… the weird Portuguese guy that's part of the Noah clan and liable to destroy me with no effort!"

The Chinese man cocked an eyebrow. "Lenalee, darling baby sister… have you forgotten about your new Innocence already? If anything, _you_ are the one who is able to destroy him with no effort."

"Thanks…I guess." Lenalee sighed, looking about the room in annoyance. She perked up at her white-haired acquaintance. "Hey, why can't we just dress up Allen and make him do it? God knows every single Noah has something for him."

Allen looked frightened at the prospect itself, and looked at Lavi for reassurance that he was positive the older teen would provide.

"That'd actually be pretty good…" the redhead mused aloud. "Then, Mikk would put all of his stalker senses to good use and actually stalk Allen all the way back to a place where we can ambush him and then—" He was cut off by a violent jab of the elbow to his stomach, and he bent over, coughing.

Allen smiled. "I don't believe he has any idea towards what in the world he is saying," the youngest exorcist said darkly. "It would be best to just ignore him."

"Yeah…just…ignore me…" Lavi wheezed, rubbing his stomach. "Did you…_have_ to…use…the cursed arm? That thing…packs a punch…like a…sumo…wrestler…"

"Yes I did, now shush, Komui has something to say."

Komui sighed, touching the tips of his fingers together in a triangle in front of his face. "I'm sorry Lenalee, but it must be done," he said finally. "There is no one else in this Order that can dance…except for one other person than you."

"Huh?" the Chinese exorcist replied. "If this is true, then why aren't _they_ going instead?"

"Oh, but he is." Komui made a gesture towards the door that led out of his office. "Meet your partner for this mission, Yuu Kanda."

"Kanda can _dance_?" Allen blurted in surprise, but quickly covered his mouth as the door swung open and said Japanese exorcist stepped inside confidently, dressed neatly in a dark tuxedo and his hair in a slick ponytail on the nape of his neck.

"What the hell is on your face?" Lavi asked, referencing towards the stylish dark blue eye mask that covered Kanda's upper face carefully.

"A mask, dipshit." Kanda snapped back, running his fingers over his ponytail. "It's a masquerade party, idiot. Masks are, I don't know, _required_."

Komui looked over at Lenalee, who fingered her thin, straight, black silk dressed that slit at the top of her thigh. Her wig was surprisingly accurate, and her new Innocence accented her dress rather well, with the extremely sharp stilettos arching up and to her knees. "Well, can you no longer complain?" he asked. "Kanda is perfect, he's strong, capable, can dance the knickers off of _anybody_, and I don't have to worry about him touching you."

"Kanda can _seriously_ dance?" Allen asked once more, eyes widening in even more shock.

Kanda glared from his eyeholes in the mask. "Yes, bean sprout, ironically enough I _can_ dance."

"I wasn't going for irony, but sure."

Miranda handed Lenalee a mask, one that was black and decorated lightly with blue crosses. "Be safe, Lenalee," she said with a smile. "Perhaps you can teach me how to dance afterwards?"

The black-haired girl looked at Miranda in surprise, and then a smile flitted onto her face.

"Of course," she answered. "I'll really teach you how to…uh…_shake and move_."

"I'll be looking forward to it." Miranda replied.

Lenalee nodded at her and turned around to Kanda, who stood stiffly next to Allen much like a awaiting bodyguard. She offered her elbow.

"Shall we?" she asked with a grin.

Kanda scowled, readjusting his mask. "Let's just go," he grumbled, walking out the office. Lenalee giggled and made to follow, but her brother's voice made her stop for a moment.

"If Mikk touches you inappropriately, just use your new Innocence to castrate him as painfully as possible!" he called.

"Okay!"

* * *

**+SCENE- RUSSIA: BOLKREIV MANOR+**

The ballroom was almost full, and the atmosphere was almost acceptable to the two exorcists that walked in confidently together.

Almost, purely because of the dark-skinned man in the middle of an overwhelmingly large crowd of women that surrounded him. He laughed and chatted about as though he weren't planning to destroy the human race underneath the white mask in a butterfly design that covered his upper face. His long, wavy hair was brushed back into an almost perfect position, and his dark tuxedo was perfect as well.

"I find him to be only a _little_ creepy," Lenalee commented as they stood father off to the food area. She sipped at a thin glass of wine in thought. "Never mind, he's really creepy."

"Now we're on the same wavelength," Kanda replied, drinking his wine with a grace not lost to his Japanese aristocratic heritage. "You've got your communicator on you, right?"

Lenalee winked. "When would I not on such an important mission?" she asked playfully. The Japanese exorcist rolled his eyes and placed his empty glass back onto the table.

"I'm not sure about how we're going to do this, especially with the crowd of…_women_…that're surrounding the bastard right about now." Kanda remarked, straightening his stance. "So, maybe our best chance is to start when the music starts."

"Kanda, I mean no offense, honestly, but I just can't wrap my head around you dancing." Lenalee said with an irked smile.

He scowled. "No offense was taken. Just because I don't like to doesn't mean I can't."

"Right. When do you believe we'll begin dancing?"

Kanda looked about the ballroom, noticing one figure walking to what could only be the stage. "I think we're going to be starting soon enough."

"Welcome, all of my wonderful guests!" a boisterous, loud voice tinted with a Russian accent called to all the people in the ballroom. A short, pudgy brown-haired man smiled cheerily at the groups, fixing his bowtie almost comically. "I am Alexandr Bolkreiv, the host of this party. I'd like for the dancing area to be cleared about now, as a professional orchestra will be playing and I'd not like their talents to go to waste!"

"Please move," several men in tuxedos and masks along with guns chorused, making the crowds move off the dance floor, including the large one of Tyki Mikk's excitable female followers.

Lenalee looked up at Kanda. "So, what will we do now?" she asked.

"We're going to do what we came here to do."

"Catch Tyki Mikk?"

"No." Kanda breathed in and out deeply. "Dance."

And the music began, as it was a slow, classical tune. It was most likely written for the theme of waltzing, which is what the few couples that stepped to the dance floor danced.

"Can you waltz?" Kanda asked carefully, tapping his foot impatiently.

The Chinese exorcist huffed, grabbing his hand and leading him to the near middle of the floor. "I believe the question is: can _you_?" she retorted. Kanda made a humming sound in acknowledgment as he placed his right hand on her waist and grabbed her right hand, holding it to his shoulder.

They began moving slowly, each taking note of the couples surrounding them with an eye out for Mikk.

"He should've been one of the first ones on the floor," Lenalee commented, resting her chin on Kanda's shoulder for a better view. "This is quite surprising."

Kanda grunted underneath his breath. "This waltz is incredibly annoying," he muttered. "Where the hell is Mikk?"

In Lenalee's peripheral vision, she noted a white masked man offering his white gloved hand to a decidedly pretty woman, smiling charmingly all the while. "Found him," she whispered.

"Is he behind me?"

"Yes, and he's slowly waltzing with a woman towards us… take the lead and turn us around slowly."

Kanda nodded slightly and lightly swept his feet about in a semi circle, bringing him and Lenalee to a slow turn. He made a sound of acknowledgement as he got view of the Noah, who was dancing with his head down and looking into the eyes of the woman. Slowly, though, he looked up and caught the Japanese man's eyes.

Mikk smirked, making his waltz slowly step towards the two exorcists.

"He found us too," Kanda said quietly, leaning back slightly so he could look down at Lenalee. "We should split up about here, as the woman may know a thing or two about his current plans, no matter how vague."

Lenalee sighed. "I guess you're right," she replied, stopping. Kanda nodded and took his hand off her waist and let go of her hand. He walked to the still dancing couple that had Mikk, and held out a hand.

"May I have this dance?" he asked in a sultry voice. Lenalee shuddered slightly, as she still could not believe that _Kanda_, of all people, could dance so well and act so charming. Why couldn't he extend the charm at least to the rest of his lifestyle?

"Does something bother you?" a deep voice tinged with a slight Portuguese accent muttered in her ears. Lenalee looked up in slight shock, staring right into the dark, sadistic eyes of Tyki Mikk, who smiled charmingly at her.

"Not at all, Sir Mikk," she replied, flashing a smile.

Mikk chuckled, a dark, evil sound that sent a feeling down her spine. "That's nice," he replied. "I'd hate for my presence to be the cause of your discomfort."

This man was not slick, Lenalee decided with pursed lips. That, or he knew he was making her even more uncomfortable. She decided on the latter instead.

"Indeed, Sir Mikk," she answered carefully.

Mikk smirked. "May I have this dance?" he asked in a husky voice.

Lenalee smiled back. "Of course."

Mikk placed both of his hands on her waist, causing the Chinese girl to look up at him in surprise.

"This isn't the position for a waltz, is it?" she asked blandly, placing her hands on his shoulders.

The Portuguese man smirked. "Can you _tango_?" he asked deeply. Lenalee rolled her eyes, leave it to a Noah to complicate things even _further_.

"Of course. Can you?" she retorted.

Tyki Mikk grinned, showing off perfect white teeth, and held up a hand.

"I was born to do it."

And he snapped his fingers.

The music stopped abruptly, making all of the dancers stop in their waltzing and look around in confusion, Lenalee included.

"How are we to tango without music?" she demanded.

Mikk slowly raised a perfectly arched eyebrow from his white mask. "Who said there was no music?" he asked, amused.

He pulled Lenalee flushed against his body, and the music began with a bang. It was a fast tempo, a Spanish beat not lost to the urban areas of Argentina and Uruguay, but very unfamiliar to Russian aristocracy that stood in much confusion on the floor.

_Kanda, I hope that your apparent dancing skills also lay in this dance as well!_ Lenalee thought, looking into Mikk's dark eyes in a challenge.

His long legs moved immediately to the beat, and she followed just as confidently, moving her legs in the direction his moved back and vice versa.

"Lady Exorcist, you look rather beautiful tonight." Mikk commented, smiling. "Your wig is especially nice. I almost didn't recognize you with hair."

Lenalee's smile twitched. "Did nobody tell you that commenting on a woman's misgivings is not gentlemanly in the least?" she asked in an irritated voice, gripping his shoulders a little tighter. The music sped up a bit, and the two enemies both knew what was coming up.

Mikk grabbed Lenalee's right hand and raised it high, allowing the exorcist the chance to make a spin before they went back to their original position. The guests all looked at them in amazement, and Kanda stood off to the side watching critically, as his dance partner had not the slightest idea of how to tango in the least.

"Ah, my apologies, as I must've offended you. Oh!" Mikk gasped, pressing a hand to the small of Lenalee's back. "Don't bend too far down, as the wig might not be nearly as stable as it looks!"

The Chinese girl scowled and slammed the heel of her Innocence on the ground a little too hard. A large cracking dent lay on the spot where Mikk's foot was once sliding. She missed the appendage, she noted sadly.

"Oops," she said in fake apologetic tone. "My foot slipped." Mikk's eyebrow twitched and they fell back into their close contact dance.

"That wasn't very womanly, Lady Exorcist," he replied. "I can't say I appreciate that in the least. Well, there's only one thing left for me to do."

"Which is…?" Lenalee asked suspiciously. Mikk just smirked.

The music stopped. And he abruptly let his arm off her back, making her fall over backwards.

Her eyes widened in shock. "Dear Go—" Lenalee gasped, and felt Mikk wrap his arm back around her waist.

The Noah leaned a little forward on his right knee, and Lenalee raised one leg in the air in an effort to balance herself out.

"Now _this_ is a dip." Mikk said sultrily. There was scattered clapping around the ballroom, and the music picked up again. He cocked his head in a motion to return to the original stance. Lenalee raised herself back up, eyebrows furrowed angrily.

"That was entirely uncalled for!" she hissed, picking back up on the tango with Mikk. Mikk, on the other just laughed lightly.

"Was it really?" he retorted.

"Of course it was!" Lenalee snapped quietly. "You could've _killed_ me like…that…" He _could've_ killed her like that, and he had a perfectly good reason to. Well, he _didn't_ have a good reason exactly, but he was a Noah, and they seem to not need a good reason to coldheartedly _kill_.

"My, you can dance very well," Mikk commented, obviously ignoring the statement. "I'd only imagine you didn't learn how to tango much too long ago."

The Chinese girl huffed. "I was… visiting Uruguay seven months ago, and I guess I picked up on it as a source of entertainment," she replied.

"Hmm? And what would a lovely young lady like you have to visit in a place like Uruguay?" he asked with a smirk.

Lenalee spun in Mikk's arms and stepped back, pressing her back flush against Mikk's chest. "I was looking for a person," she admitted. "A man who was said to have been there at the time."

Mikk picked up the tempo in the dancing. "And who might this man be, Lady Exorcist?" he asked sarcastically.

"I think you may already know, Sir Mikk."

"Oh," Mikk purred, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Please, call me _Tyki_."

Lenalee rolled her eyes, but smiled. She caught Kanda's eyes in the crowd, and nodded her head slightly.

"Only if you call me Lenalee," she said, moving her arms off of his shoulders slowly.

Mikk chuckled, moving his own hands to his sides, elbows bent. "Beautiful name, much like yourself…" he complimented. He closed his eyes and smiled as he danced slightly slower than before. As he placed his hands back on her waist though, Lenalee's body was somewhat harder and much less curvaceous than before.

"Lenalee…are you familiar with an Allen Walker?" he asked.

She did not answer.

"Hmm, I'd suppose you daren't want to speak of it with me… such a shame, as he's such a beautiful boy…"

There was an indecipherable cough, but Mikk just ignored the sound.

"I think I'll be nicer and actually warn you about the dip now."

He suddenly bent over and performed the dip, except it was significantly different this time.

"Is it physically possible for someone to gain at least sixty more pounds in four minutes?" he asked, his voice strained.

"You tell me."

The voice was _not_ Lenalee's. In fact, it wasn't even a woman's!

Mikk opened his dark eyes slowly and caught sight of a very male, very irritated exorcist in his arms and bent over in the dip with him. Both of his eyebrows lifted over his mask, and his face fixed in a grimace.

"Hello… Male Exorcist," he said. "I wasn't expecting you. At all."

Kanda grunted. "Lenalee was getting kind of tired, so I thought that I'd take initiative right about now," he answered. "By the way, are you aware that you're lusting after a fifteen-year-old, you sick bastard?"

Mikk frowned. And he immediately retracted his arm, making Kanda fall abruptly to the ground.

"A sick bastard…" he scoffed. Mikk stepped back and snapped his fingers once more, the music stopping immediately. "I can say that I do not appreciate the statement in the least."

Kanda stood up, brushing dust off his tuxedo. He readjusted his mask. "It's accurate, isn't it?" he retorted.

"And the number of enemies in this room is just as accurate your statement."

"So that must mean that almost everyone is an Akuma," Kanda said, reaching into the backside of his blazer.

Mikk rolled his eyes. "Correct." And all the other participants of the ballroom stepped forward slowly, their faces twisted to inhuman expressions. "Doesn't it always surprise you exorcists how many Akuma surround you unknowingly?"

The Japanese man snorted, Mugen already in his hands. "After accompanying Allen on a mission, not at all. Do you think you might be able to die right about now?" he asked seriously.

The Noah flitted his hand through the air, a dark top hat materializing from nowhere. "I'm sorry, I've got an appointment," he replied, placing the hat atop his head. "We'll have to reschedule. How about you try and kill my associates first?"

The bodies of the guests all cracked, and the signature gray skin of the Akuma broke out, releasing cries of anguish as they all launched at Kanda.

"Not even a challenge," he muttered. He caught sight of the Noah walking away as calmly as though it were not a sudden ballroom blitz. Tyki Mikk turned around to look at him one more time. "Hey, come back here you pervert! Shit!" Kanda hurriedly began to hack through the surrounding Akuma.

Mikk chuckled and turned back around to proceed with his grand escape.

Lenalee stood in front of him, hands on her hips and tapping her foot impatiently.

"You are the dirtiest fighter I've ever been faced with," she said irritably.

Mikk smiled deceptively. "Yes, but dirty fighting keeps my clothes clean." He stepped a little closer to her. "By the way, dearest Lenalee…"

He brushed his lips against hers, looking into her dark eyes.

"You really are a fantastic dancer."

He removed his white butterfly mask and handed it to her, winking. "I'll be getting that back soon, just so you know," he said.

Lenalee blushed, clutching the mask to her chest. "You'll have to fight me to get it back," she challenged bravely.

"I understand completely," he replied. "Humanity's future for a mask, an interesting prospect. Well, I must be going. Stay alive until the end, dearest Lenalee."

He blew her a kiss and disappeared in a puff of butterflies.

The Chinese exorcist stood there for a while, still holding the mask to herself.

"Urgh!" Kanda grunted, snapping her out of her trance.

She looked over at him, grinning. "Need some help, Kanda?" she called.

The Japanese man scoffed. "Do I _look_ like I need help?" he asked sarcastically. A wayward Akuma got in a swipe at his shoulder, and he cursed as the blazer ripped, blood staining the fabric. "I fucking liked this jacket too, and it wasn't even mine!"

Lenalee laughed, jumping in the air, only to land directly in the middle with Kanda. "I'll help you out," she said.

"I don't need any fucking help."

"Well, I'm doing it anyway." She kicked an Akuma's head straight off with her stiletto-like Innocence.

Kanda made a grunting sound and stepped a little closer to her. "Tyki Mikk got away," he commented.

"He's a maniac magician with a penchant for sadomasochism, so yes. He did get away."

"Did he say anything cryptic to you about his plans?"

"Well, he said that he'll definitely be seeing us in the future and something about humanity for a mask."

Kanda cocked an eyebrow. "What mask?"

Lenalee smiled, tucking the thin cloth mask in her inner boot.

"I have no idea."

**END**

* * *

I'm proud of this. I'm really proud of this. I'm especially proud of Tyki's imminent bisexuality.

Tyki is called "Mikk" because they have no reason to acknowledge his first name, especially since he's the enemy. Tyki also comes across to me as really creepy when it comes to Allen.

I'd like to thanks eHow dot com and Wikipedia for this extensively, as they both helped me get a better feel for the waltz and tango.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed.


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